Ups & Downs
What happens in a relationship when, after years of having two incomes, one of you is out of work and can’t contribute to the financial health of your family? It can affect every aspect of your relationship.
The majority of us like to think that we are honest human beings. We don’t steal, we don’t talk behind others’ backs and we tell the truth when asked a question. But do we really?
Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is episodes of depression that occur at a certain time of the year, usually during winter.
I’ve been doing something lately that is scaring me. I’ll be in a conversation and have a thought that I want to pass on. I’ll bring up the topic, and then I can’t remember what I want to say about the topic.
Definition: “A gnawing distress arising from a sense of guilt for past wrongs”. Should this word and this state of mind be scrubbed from the English language, except for heinous crimes?
I realized recently that getting unstuck is about having something to look forward to in life.
Sometimes my best laid plans don't come through.
We all suspect, or at least have been told, that the older we get the more set in our ways we become. This could have to do with having an aversion to change, becoming complacent, remembering lessons learned long ago or building unrealistic expectations of others. We sort of build a box, put all of these things in it and seal it shut. If you ask me, all of these can be the kiss of death in your relationships with others and yourself.
Are you lollygagging down the road of life or are you running as fast as you can?
Does it make any difference?
I believe that from birth we’re all set at different speeds. Some of us are mired in inertia, some are slow to take on new things and some are out of the gate as soon as an inkling becomes a thought. This makes for interesting life challenges when you live with someone working at a different speed than yours.
“For several decades, Psychiatrists who work with the dying have been trying to come up with new psychotherapies that can help people cope with the reality of their deaths. One of these therapies asks the dying to tell the story of their life”.
Article by Alix Spiegel for NPR, For The Dying, a Chance To Rewrite Life
Give me my freedom for as long as I be / All I ask of living is to have no chains on me / All I ask of living is to have no chains on me / And all I ask of dying is to go naturally / Oh, I want to go naturally
Blood, Sweat & Tears: And When I Die Lyrics
I had no intention of starting a beautiful Sunday morning with a depressing state of affairs, but as usual on Sunday mornings, I read the Op-Ed page in the New York Times and now I’m in a funk. I wrote a piece when Obama was elected that shared the hope that we all felt (maybe not all of us, but most of the people that I know) and I’ve been having a hard time letting that “hope” go.
The goal of the website is to end negative self-talk or “Fat Talk.” If this little blog only does one productive thing, I hope it helps readers realize how truly toxic negative self-talk is—it hurts you emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Caitlin Boyle, founder of Operation Beautiful
“Will you still need me,
Will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?”
“Why do some people live for frickin' ever—and happily so?
I read an article this week that addresses the psychological gifts possessed by people who reach 100. Health habits and genes aside, they possess something the professionals call "adaptive competence".
“Adaptive competence” means you're a master at bouncing back from life's traumas and stresses. My spin is it includes a really artful forgive-and-forget policy. You won't see my photo next to the dictionary definition, that's for sure.
So, maybe we don't all want to live until 100, but this article started me thinking: What would it be like to play with honing your own style of adaptive competence right now? For some of us fretters, this proves to be an interesting challenge. I try to use my imagination and pretend I'm a duck. Ducks seem to get over their squabbles in two seconds flat and seem to have no egos or worries.
How about you?”
Read or listen to the NPR story here.
March 26 (Bloomberg)—"Middle-aged people with excess belly fat have an increased risk later in life of Alzheimer's and other diseases that cause dementia, researchers said".
Not long ago my nephew Alex gave me two wonderful presents.
“I try as much as possible not to look in the mirror. If I pass a mirror, I avert my eyes.
If I must look into it, I begin by squinting, so that if anything really bad is looking back at me, I am already to half way closing my eyes to ward off the sight. If the light is good, I do what so many woman do: I gently pull the skin of my neck back and stare wistfully at a younger version of myself”.
Nora Ephron, I Feel Bad About My Neck and Other Thoughts on Being A Woman
Last week provoked a number of comments about my take on the results of the recent political elections and how our “unrealistic expectations” play into our resentments.
“The ultimate definition of bravery is not being afraid of who you are.”
Smile at Fear: Awakening the True Heart of Bravery by Chogyam Trungpa
Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop. ~
Usman B. Asif
We are going into my favorite time of year. The light is changing, the days are getting shorter, the breeze is beginning to feel crisp, and you are totally aware that change is in the air.
Over the last month the concept of passion has come up in so many different conversations I’ve had with women friends (as well as my husband) that I thought it deserved an Ohladida.
“Slow living, I have come to understand, opens up the prospect of slow love, the most sustaining sort of love I have ever known—a love that comes of an unhurried and focused attention to the simplest things, available to all of us, at any time, should we choose to engage: family, friendship, food, music, art, books, our bodies, our minds, our souls, and the life that blooms and buzzes all around us”.
From Slow Love: How I Lost My Job, Put on My Pajamas & Found Happiness by
If in fact the brain is the boss of my body, I’m in big trouble.
Sometimes in life you know deep down in your heart that something is wrong or it’s not going to work but you can’t give it up. You make excuses, dream up hair-brained ideas of how it might work and try and figure out ways that you can change the process of events, but deep down inside you know.
"They will have destroyed their party much as Lyndon Johnson shattered the Democratic Party for 40 years by passing civil rights legislation"
Quote by Newt Gingrich concerning the passage of Health Care Reform.
Habit: An acquired pattern of behavior that often occurs automatically.
Addiction: (In this case a negative addiction) A detrimental habit where the benefits are not worth the costs.
Don’t you think that this is the perfect time to talk about DISCIPLINE? We’re 3 weeks into the New Year and if you made a resolution—how’s it going? I usually don’t make them unless it something like, I want to hear live music once a month. However, this year I want to hit the gym three times a week with my friend Kathy and I’ve already slept in a few times—my discipline is starting to crack—which has me considering: what is discipline and is that all it takes to keep us sticking with our pacts to do things like exercise, cut down on our alcohol consumption or eat a healthier diet.
One thing we know is that life is not static (thank god, or I personally would be bored to tears. I love spontaneity.). It morphs, unfolds and moves on—some times without giving us warning. What if you’re laid off from work—your partner leaves—your children grow up and move away. Or, you meet a new partner—you start a new career—you take some risks. It can be a downer or exhilarating, but you still don’t have control of the outcome. How do you cope?
It only seems fitting that the launch of Ohladida should coincide with the new year of 2010, and when I think of a new year I think about HOPE. To me the word conjures up emotional feelings from the past and for the future.